The Ultimate Relationship
(originally published in Rod & Staff vol. 3 Autumn 1985)
The greatest social disturbances we have on this planet do not originate from people’s being together; they originate from within each individual. The person who understands you the most, who cares for you the most, who can do the most for you—is you. The ultimate relationship is with yourself, and it’s important to keep that inner relationship harmonious. To do that, you have to be in a continual state of self-education, and you need to tune in to the source of who you really are.
You have probably observed yourself acting out of your emotions and even stopping or redirecting them in order not to be run by them. Who do you think is watching you do all that? What is it inside you that you know is valuable, even when somebody rejects you or says negative things about you? Have you ever felt so upset about something that you felt pain in the pit of your stomach, and did you pray that things would get better? Did you notice that things never really got better until you went into that place inside that gives you the energy to get up in the morning? That place is your Soul.
The energy of the Soul is a sense of well-being, contentment, and peace. It’s not inactivity, but is directed action and aliveness. You are experiencing the energy of your Soul when you are in a place within you that is good-natured and free from irritation.
You maintain this inner balance by being in a constant state of awareness. The mind is attracted to the physical world and will direct the emotions and the body into fulfillment through material things. The Soul, however, will back away from worldly attachments. It knows it is accountable for everything it does here. Your Soul, your true self, is responsible for what you create.
You are in this world to learn to use the energy of creation wisely in order to bring about completion. An important key to remember is that the energy of Spirit follows the thoughts you hold. Wherever you direct this spiritual energy in the material world, things are manifested.
There’s an old saying: “What you fear comes upon you.” It means you become a magnet for what you fear, and you create for yourself the very thing you’re afraid of. Is there a real source of fear? No. Is there real fear? Yes. It is inside you, and you are the creator of it. You give birth to your own fear. Under the energy of fear is the energy of pure spirit, which allows you to create whatever you want. This is the unconditional loving of Spirit, allowing you to do whatever you will with your body, emotions, and mind.
How you feel about things determines much of what you do with your body, and how you feel is often influenced by what you think. If you’re depressed, you may not feel like cleaning the house or mowing the lawn, and you may decide not to do that. The feeling of depression is simply a lack of energy to move your body in constructive action. Under that feeling is negative thinking: “If I commit myself to moving my body, I’ll need to maintain that, and I don’t have the physical or emotional strength.” You are, however, more than your thoughts and feelings.
Your Soul radiates its energy from the higher levels of Spirit to your mind. The soul is part of the essence of God, and it keeps track of all your experiences as well as supplying your mind, emotions, and body with energy.
There’s a great commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all of your mind, and with all your strength.” 1. That means completely. The other great commandment is to “love your neighbor as yourself.” 2. It implies that you must love yourself first. That isn’t being selfish; I call it ‘selfing.” When you truly start loving yourself, the energy of God flows through you. Then you can reach out to your neighbors and touch them, and they’ll transform right in front of you.
You were given life to experience abundance and joy, and if you’re not experiencing that, look at what you’re doing to block yourself. Then use that block as a stepping-stone. Don’t’ get rid of it; instead use it— and everything—as an opportunity to lift yourself. Use nothing to create despair because, if you do, you reap more despair. And if you change your despair into an opportunity to grow, you’re free of it.
You are a creator, and you harvest what you create. If you create loving during your stay in this world, at the end of your life, you stand on that pillar of loving and can go straight into the heart of God.
1. Matthew 12:30 (Revised Standard Version)
2. Matthew 12:3l (Revised Standard Version)
BIO: John-Roger is the contributor of the Karma and Destiny chapter in The Light. He is also the founder of the Movement of Inner Spiritual Awareness (MSIA) and an author of more than 50 books on spirituality.