Master’s Mondays: Loving Others
Here are some more keys to forgiveness and loving others, continued from last week:
4. Communicate. Good relationships is called good communication, and the three C’s of effective communication are that it is clear, clean, and concise. When you communicate with anyone, create a safe place inside of you and speak from that place. Then it will not matter whom you are speaking to. Do not do it out of any form of negativity, as that negativity will follow the other person in some level of their consciousness. Always speak kind words, speak from loving, and say what is right for you.
To me, withholding is the foremost spiritual “sin” we can do to each other. Withholding often starts in the emotions: somebody says something to you and you do not like it, so you say to yourself, “Well, I just won’t talk to that person.” Pretty soon, you start withholding your body from them by not being around them. Then you can withhold information from them that they should know, which means they do not have the full picture of what is going on. This can happen in organizations and families and can be very undermining to the group. Rather than let that happen, keep up the communication.
5. When you love someone, give them the best of yourself. Give your loved ones your best attitude, your best smile, your best hug. Just as you take care of physical items so they will last, you must also take care of your loving so it will last.
If you are married, have you ever been lying in bed with your spouse and thought to massage their feet a little? Or are you so tired that you “have” to get some sleep so you can get up for work in the morning? Wait a minute. It only takes two or three minutes for you to massage their feet and tell them you love them and demonstrate that love so they drop off to sleep feeling cherished and nurtured.
As you give, you receive, and you may find weeks and weeks of loving coming from that one tender moment. I am sure there are many times you would like to have someone run their fingers through your hair and massage your head a little and then say, “Good night, my beloved.” If you care enough to take the time to give those moments to others, they will come back to you. It is love in action. It is the Spirit moving through you and through the one you love. It is precious.
6. When you are loving others, love 100 percent and love unconditionally. You receive through the same channel you give through. If you give through a tiny, almost-closed opening, that is the same opening you receive through, and the love will come back to you all closed up. But if you are loving others openly and unafraid, not caring whether someone else loves you in return, you have 100 percent of the love. If the other person never gives anything, there is still 100 percent. This way, you are never cheated or left out because all of the loving is always there.
Do not try to possess with love. Do not demand, “Do it my way,” but say, “Let’s do it the way that is the best, that is for the highest good of all.” When you tune to that, you will get away from the upsets and the distresses. But when you try to force someone to see things your way – to digest their food your way, to swallow when you tell them to – you have shut yourself off, and you can become a very miserable person. You are also shutting yourself off from the Spirit, and though It is always with you, you no longer attune to It. So rather than trying to control people, just tell them, “It doesn’t matter what you do, because I love you, and that’s all that matters. You don’t have to love me.” Then if someone does love you, their love will be added to the 100 percent you are already giving, and it is a total pattern of loving and understanding.
BIO: John-Roger is the contributor of the Karma and Destiny chapter in The Light. He is also the founder of the Movement of Inner Spiritual Awareness (MSIA) and an author of more than 50 books on spirituality.