Master’s Mondays: Keys to Forgiveness
If you find yourself having a difficult time forgiving and getting back into the loving in any of your relationships, you might try these keys to forgiveness :
1. Pray to be as loving as you can be.If you sincerely ask God to assist you in seeing the loving in each situation, you may find that your perceptions and approaches gradually change and that you are living in love more of the time. And, ultimately, isn’t that what you really want to do?
2. Forgive yourself for any unloving things you have done, and forgive others for any unloving things they have done. You may spend many days saying, “I forgive myself, I forgive them, I forgive this judgment I forgive…..gosh, am I going to be able to eat today, or will I spend all day forgiving? I forgive myself for judging them.” Forgiving yourself is better than food, because you can miss a meal and it will not hurt you, but if you miss the forgiveness, what you judged yourself for may be lodged against you.
But what if you do not know what to forgive yourself for? If you judge that, forgive yourself for not knowing what to forgive yourself for. If you do not know if you have judged or not, forgive yourself for “anything I don’t know I’ve judged.” Forgiveness is one of the main doorways into grace and loving.
3. Clear any imbalances you have with others, so you can share your spiritual heart.If you cannot share your spiritual heart because someone owes you $100, forget the debt. It is not worth it. If you cannot share your spiritual heart because of something someone said, apologize to yourself in their name. If you cannot love somebody, it is best just to say, “I don’t know who they are.” That is a clear statement because if you do not love someone, you really do not know who they are.
If you say you hate one person, you also have to hate others. If you shut off love to one person, you have also shut it off to somebody else. That someone else is usually yourself because when we shut off to anyone “out there,” we usually shut off inside of us. As Jesus said, “When you have done it to the least of these, you have done it unto me.” So why shut off anyone, hurt anyone, or hate anyone and then think you can love your wife or husband? No, you carry home with you that same hate towards the other person. When you tell your spouse about it, the spouse feels your hate and has to deal with it, plus your spouse may have to deal with feelings of sadness over what someone else is doing to you.
You cannot allow anything to stand in the way of your loving. You cannot allow yourself the luxury of a negative thought. You cannot allow that which is less than God and the Spirit to be a force in your life. Do not turn and strike at someone else. Be loving to yourself and to others, which is really the same thing. If you hit another, you hit at the Lord, and you hit at your own divine nature. You really do not want to do that.
Read some more keys to forgiveness next Monday!
BIO: John-Roger is the contributor of the Karma and Destiny chapter in The Light. He is also the founder of the Movement of Inner Spiritual Awareness (MSIA) and an author of more than 50 books on spirituality.